welcome to my thoughts page. this is where i'll put things i think about. ordered newest to oldest.
--hi. i havent forgotten this thing, but i don't have anything to say, hence no updates.
--been spending a lot of time with ai stories that make my life way happier than it'll ever be
--sort of insane to see all the new people on neocities and just how similar to them i used to be.
--i dunno man...
--i wanted you to help me
--people in horror shows are so fucking dumb that i can predict everything they do
--happy birthday, friend
--just watched someone get shot and killed in front of me, also 12121 views, so that's cool.
--seeing you every night, makes me happy, but it's not real.
--i am awakened
--i have no words left to describe how i feel, and that scares me.
--destiny is racing through my body
--i feel like i'm better than everyone but at the same time feel like the scum of this earth
--come fight me you long haired living to party bitch
--there are so many things i want to say but i dont have the words to say them
--been dizzy all day and sick all night, things are getting bad again
--i have enough to buy myself a shotgun but i just can't do it
--why cant you just care about me? i try so hard to be someone youd like
--having so many people follow me makes me nervous...
--if anything happens i love you
--please let me go
--i want to run away like every coming of age movie
--i hate this fucking world.
--its been 25 days since i was bad last. i hope that stretch keeps going but i feel like it'll be reset tonight.
--over the years i have become an amazing liar which worries me.
--getting very overwhelmed.
--terrified of ending up in a psych ward a la AHS season 2. i dont want to be held against my will and trapped, i'll just get worse.
--i have been warned to beware of the water, which is ironic because it proceeds cherry.
--i've been teetering between life and death pretty consistently for the last seven months but some days it feels like everything will be okay and those are the days i live for.
--i dont like where this is going, and theres nothing i can do.
--while my forest haven is burned down around me by the savior, i sit crosslegged, smiling.
--i lack the passion that makes this world great. people put so much work into what they do and i feel like i dont deserve that effort. i have no passion and feel like i dont deserve this world.
--people who fake disorders get on my nerves hard
--i hate who i used to be two years ago. angsty angry fuck. now i'm just melancholic, lonely and vengeful.
--god, i want to claw your fucking eyes out.
-23, see you in heaven
-three years ago, wow. i still think every day about how everything could be different. miss you.
-im ok btw
-i got lager from a friend of mine, had a can tonight, vile shit, but i took painkillers for a headache beforehand. if this ends up at the worst scenario, i'm sorry.
-sometimes i sit there and just think how i got to this point.
-i dunno man, im trying but just barely hanging on.
-my arm is awful. i wouldnt be lying if i said i wasnt considering it right now.
-maybe im not even ready for another, but i just dont feel loved in my current state.
-i want to be in another relationship. i know people say "if you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else?" but i dont feel like im deserving of love. just someone else.
-so i lit my left wrist and hand on fire by accident. whoops.
-had a breakdown on twitter and just kept tweeting for an hour and a half. i hope that doesnt get me in trouble. i dont want to hurt anyone. just myself.
-i want to drive in the snow late at night listening to in rainbows. that sounds so melancholic.
-i have this urge when i get my new car to run away and never come back.. i want to just go start a new life somewhere where i wont have to worry about anything.
-i crave the eternal bliss that i have since lost.
-sceneofthecrash, hope youre alright, best wishes.
-my friends are going to help me set up a stereo system in my room so i can listen to music without my headphones. im excited.
-if i'm being honest, getting those edibles was a really good decision. my anxiety is nearly gone and isnt some constant thing. its helped me move on. i feel calm.
-i have a poetry page now. theres nothing there at the moment but its there.
-having a 90s theme website makes me feel kind of cool. it would have been cool to have this in like 1997 or 1998. maybe then ppl would like me.
-sometimes i wonder. if my corpse was found like how i imagine it, would they finally care. once 1/3 of my skull is scattered on the floor, will they finally realize what happened.
-thanks for 4k.
-theyre here. happiness here i fucking come.
-not sure how much more i can take of this.
-my medication isnt helping. my anxiety is getting worse. help.
-i finally got to have fucking alcohol ha. ha. ha.
-i'm really scared of ending up in a psych ward.
-i am a mistake.
-feel like im losing my mind
-ive lost four pounds in two weeks.
-im ready for everything to be over
-cant sleep in the dark anymore
-i feel so worthless
-its never gonna get better for me
-i kinda want to go jump off a overpass
-ordered a kmfdm tour 97 shirt, excited for it to get here.
-WHY DO ALL THE MONSTERS COME OUT AT NIGHT
-rivers cuomo is a visionary
-one year ago today everything changed.
-you tear me apart inside.
-i still remember your laugh. innocent, beautiful, pure.
-links page is up, ur welcome.
-i dont know if my mental state is worse or not from a year ago?
-i want to apologize for everything i did last year.
-i sit here with a sore throat and fever making a phone background for 8 hours, and i just feel worse.
-just like noel said, where did it all go wrong?
-everything was going so well and now ive hit rock bottom
-ive watched 16 episodes of danny phantom in one sitting. i dont have a problem. i promise.
